I’m NOT An Axe Murderer-Dragon Speak Is!

Axe Head by Aubrey Kirkham
I AM NOT An Axe Murderer!

It’s Friday and I’m yelling into a microphone

 I’ve been fighting the good fight with technology today and I’ve lost. It mocks me, you know. I can hear it chortling to itself in tech-speak, when it thinks I’m not listening. It’s Friday. It’s crunch time and I’m on writer lock down so that I avoid losing the bet my son and I have for NaNoWriMo, as well as facing the possibility of losing of certain pieces of my anatomy that I happen to fond of, not to mention the eternal embarrassment of having that moment complete with pics, smeared across FaceBook-should I lose. Hell of a motivator. Yay me.

I thought I really should work smarter, not harder

I have Dragon Speak, and I remembered this fact while sipping on my first cup of wake up or else coffee. It occurred to me how I could potentially…work smarter not harder. Well into my 2nd cup, I mused upon how much easier it would be, to dictate rather than to type out my story, I have people all too willing to testify on the veracity of this claim, eureka! I definitely excel at dictation, I can do this and I might even get done faster, woohoo! And that’s where I should’ve stopped. But nooo….In so thinking, I hauled Dragon Speak back out of the closet for this enforced weekend of banishment I’d placed upon myself. I should’ve paid more attention to it’s chuckle, but I didn’t. Naturally Speaking, my ass!

I was framed!

I’m innocent, I swear. So, maybe I forgot that I had to train my recalcitrant Dragon Speak to my drawl. And…I forgot that when I skipped that part, along with the part about technology’s vendetta against me, I may have created the perfect storm. And I most definitely forgot what kind of novel I’m attempting to write. So, yeah, maybe I was heard yelling inside my house that I was going to “Kill her, for God’s sake, it’s not your sister~it’s a demon! Kill her before she kills us all!” In my defense, I had been trying for over the space of hours, to get Dragon to behave and I was frustrated. And yeah, okay so maybe Dragon just randomly chose that particular spot in my dictation of the book to act deaf or maybe not. I was framed!

Bite me Dragon, youuu suck!

Either way, it made for one very interesting conversation a little bit later, when I gave up and declared Dragon the victor of my battle. I went out to get the mail, started to say hello to the neighbor and…watched her run away as if I were a…demon. Hmmm…maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It could be worse. I could’ve been trying to dictate on book about…sex. “Oohh, yeah, yeah! Don’t stop! I’m just gonna slide this…mmmm…axe between us…yeah!” Wrap your brain around that one! 😉


3 thoughts on “I’m NOT An Axe Murderer-Dragon Speak Is!”

  1. Sad to admit I got whupped by Dragon, but worse to try to convince the neighbor I was writing a book…yeah…by yelling. Uh huh…I’m pretty sure she didn’t believe me! 😉

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