Top Five Phrases I Can Live Without Hearing: Ever Again

A phrase is a phrase by any other name…

Ah, linguistics are great, aren’t they? My command of the English language may not always shine per say, but I love playing with words. Except for a few, that is. Those few cause an opposite reaction within me and make me scramble to find the bottle of Pepto.

Those would be the ones that suck right out loud in front of your Mom.

My Top Five ‘Clench The Butt Cheeks’ Moments
  • “This is only going to cause slight discomfort” (Age 13) The smiling orthodontist who might have been better suited to dudgeon master, as he began the installation of the old fashioned, heavy metal, repel any boy closer than fifty feet, braces to help me look...prettier.
  • “Wow! Now would ya look at that…Only three of them are impacted. It’s your lucky day!” (Age 25) The dentist who so kindly cut my wisdom teeth out with only a local, and who was apparently celebrating his graduation-from dental school as sponsored by Kmart, at the same time.
  • “So guess what? You were right, it is your gall bladder…” (Age 28) My surgeon, after finding out I wasn’t yanking his chain. As if. He was hot, oh yes, but not hot enough to volunteer removal of an organ that I might have need of.
  • ” Watch yourself, she is a bleeder, lookit her go!” (Age 35) My oral surgeon, who has no sense of humor.

 Pucker factor rating a gazillion psi:

Throughout my life with it’s many ADHD assisted twists and turns, I’ve had many such chances to become intimately acquainted with more than few of them. Those that come with the belly sinking feeling and the pucker rating at a gazillion. When I hear them, I hear alarm klaxons screeching of an ominous event in the near future. One that I’m going to be one unhappy camper in.

  • ” The landlord is here”
  • “Your family is here”
  • His family is here”
  • “The cops are here”
  • “The repo man is here”
  • “My (not mine) wife, girlfriend, baby mama is here”
  • “My (not mine) ex is here”
  • “Your ( mine) ex is here”
  • And my son’s absolute fave of all time, ” Hey, watch THIS!”
Pass the Pepto, now it’s your turn…

Those are mine. Do you have any personal faves you’d pay someone to never say to you, or within earshot of you, or even in the same state as you-again? Tell me, I’m dyin’ to know!

English: A generic version of Pepto-Bismol, ba...

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Top Five Phrases I Can Live Without Hearing: Ever Again”

  1. This may hurt a bit (age 13) just before the doctor yanked the barbed fish hook that was imbedded into my thumb, out. This was not preceded by, hey watch this.

    1. Yeow! That made me cringe LoL

      The one I wanted to list but had
      no phrase or words:
      was a misadventure while camping
      age 8. No one warned me about
      how personally fire ants take it
      when their hill is used as a latrine.

      It took all of 2 seconds to find out.
      Much like you-I didn’t proceed
      with a watch this either! 😉

  2. “girl you cray cray” the brand new er doc, must have been his first week out of med school, upon discovering I’m bipolar, adhd borderline and unmedicated when I was in for a migraine, he ended up doing a spinal…

    1. Hot damn, here I was thinking I had to have broken in all the new docs! LoL

      Must’ve missed a few.
      A spinal…for a migraine… yeah…that worked! (Here’s the part where I wish I had a sarcasm button to insert) You poor thing! Hopefully it wasn’t botched so badly that you needed a blood patch!

    2. When you live near a major college campus (even if you don’t teach there anymore) they always look for meningitis. They messed it up giving me a false positive for a brain tumor because of what they used to sedate me…but you know it’s no big deal to make a patient think they have cancer again!

  3. My all time FAVORITE thing I’ve heard from an ER doctor, she was looking in my ears and stands back looking amazed, “you have the CLEANEST ears I’ve ever seen! You have like no wax!” running a fever and feeling like white, I snapped back, “well no shit! Wouldn’t you know I clean them every damn day!” my husband just laughed! Now everyone I get out of the shower and clean my ears I can hear that doctor, and I chuckle!

    I had another doctor, 1st appointment as him being my new primary, he said “you’re a hmpiap.” high maintenance pain in the assignment patient. I walked out and filed a complaint with the state board! Just the year before I’d spent 9/12 months in and out of the hospital for pain control cause I was “too young” for a surgery! That’s another one. If I’m too damn young, then why do I need it? Oh! Grrrrr freaking errrr!

    1. Gotta love the medical world LOL
      Just like a box of chocolates~
      you never know what you’re gonna get! 😉

I love getting comments. It's as close to being famous as I'll ever get.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s