I am tired. Whupped. Worn out. And in just the few seconds of trying to focus on the laptop screen with my bleary and magnificently bloodshot eyes suggesting the possibility that I have indulged in a week long bender but didn’t, I’m seeing all sorts of interesting things. My black font type on the blindingly white screen looks as though it’s waving at me (Hi!) and this paragraph wants to play hop scotch, if I were to judge by the way it keeps jumping from one side to another.
“I’ll pay anything you want, just let me sleep!”
I’ve not been able to sleep well for the last, hmmm…63 hours, 3 minutes and…20 seconds. I could blame my insomnia on the doomed but don’t yet know it, dogs barking non-stop from next door, or on the fact my bed has morphed into a hammock, starting off each night with my guy on one side and me on the other for 3 seconds and then both of us ending up in the middle, him atop me and nowhere even close to the vicinity of naughty or sexy. I could blame my insomnia on those factors and you probably wouldn’t blame me. But I won’t.
It could be the ambient music...
I’ve found that my desire for doin’ the dirty loses some of it’s thrill when I’m listening to the ambient music produced all night long by my other half. The sound of him sucking the entirety of our room contents through his mouth, (“Hold it…1, 2, 3, and now exhale!…1,2,3. Blow it all out, that’s right!”) and the exhaling breath done with such gusto, that his lips flap to the beat even while adding their own motor boat-esque quality to blend with the over all rhythm. Yeah it could be a valid reason for insomnia. One that probably holds true for the entire tri-state area, but that’s not it either.
“Sleep! Wherest art thou hiding?”
It could be that my mind is troubled. Washing a Nerf Gun in the washer but not on purpose could be one reason. But the main reason I can’t sleep is that it’s the weekend. It’s a cold and rainy weekend. It’s a cold and rainy weekend spent with one mightily disgruntled Duckling and one really angry redneck and I can’t find anywhere quiet to escape their combined wrath. It wasn’t even any of my doing. For once. Okay so maybe I shouldn’t have laughed. And I know I shouldn’t have said it but…this is what we came home to yesterday. An out of commission satellite dish on a weekend with NasCar races and cartoons. Enough to keep anyone awake. Trust me.
- Mombie the Zombie (kaylamayhem.wordpress.com)