Public Speaking Is About Burlap Sacks And Wildcats

Public Speaking is Easy…Really?

I’ll never forget it. 6th grade. The year I found out that my clothing choices weren’t in style because they weren’t bearing designer labels like the rest of my classmates. That having to wear glasses classified me as a nerd, even if my grades didn’t reflect that classification. And they most assuredly didn’t. The year my hair started spouting oil and my skin revolted. The year I realized I abhorred public speaking.

Despite all the aforementioned winning qualities, none of them spared me from having to stand up in my non-designer wardrobe, with my oily-hair and skin on a blemish-free strike, to address an entire room filled with my whispering and laughing peers. For a grade. A grade I had to have unless I liked 6th grade so much that I would remain there. Forever. It was a hard choice to make.

“Do I hear 100, 100, 100-yes! Now gimme 150, 150, 150-sold!”

I still have nightmares about that day. Trying to appear composed while standing (trembling noticeably) there, not even so much as a podium to hide behind, my eyes anywhere but where they were supposed to be (making eye contact with my audience) and mumbling the speech that I would have sworn I memorized 10 ways to Sunday, but apparently hadn’t. Had I decided to go for the world’s record fastest speech given, I may have stood a shot at the top 3 and probably could have gone on to having a solid career as a auctioneer. But as for the grade, well…let’s just say I squeaked through without an inch of room to spare. Yeah.

Public speaking for me as easy as…”Giving a cat a bath successfully is like trying to put a wildcat in a burlap sack….” That was part of my speech that I remember to this day. Funny how that can be used to fit a lot of different things. Try to make a kid take a shower before we have to leave, try making a redneck wear something other than the T-shirt (non-designer) that’s not full of holes from a welder’s torch, or trying to get some peace and quiet. Don’t believe me? No problem. Just go grab a burlap sack and…

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2 thoughts on “Public Speaking Is About Burlap Sacks And Wildcats”

  1. OMG was the same way. I would take a failing grade on oral reports rather than speak in front of anyone, if my grade allowed. In English class I got away without making a single report because my grades were otherwise perfect. In other classes though…to this day I can’t make speeches in front of anyone.

    1. Heya Robin 🙂

      I’m with you. I managed to escape public speaking for the rest of my education.
      Until college anyway, and it still was atrocious. LOL

      Given the choice of having to do that or snake wrangling (I’m terrified of them)
      the snakes are the clear winner, hands down. 😉

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting~
      I thought I was the only one! 😉

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