“Hey! I’m talking to you, did you hear me? I just said. Your son. Rang my doorbells. For the third time. Now if you want any sheet shaking to happen-ever again-you need to talk to him right now! Are you listening to me? Helloo?”
Hi, I’m CeeLee, and if you’re anything like me, November is a tough month. What with Thanksgiving, the speed inspired writing of NaNoWriMo, and the rest of the holiday season staring up at you from the dark recesses of your wallet, well you need all the help you can get. Having to deal with the constant interruptions from loved ones, pets, bosses, and deadlines can leave you annoyed and ready to snatch the nearest object to shot-put it at the first thing straying into your path, right? Wrong. It doesn’t have to be that way.I have some great news for you!
Introducing The…NaNoWriMo Negotiator!
It’s the revolutionary new way to tell friends and family once and for all not to talk, or come within twenty feet of you-for 30 whole days! It’s as simple as 1,2,3.
- Apply the all natural ingredients of our semi-transparent mask to your face
- Hold your breath
- Wait ten minutes for it to harden
Guaranteed to be completely safe and absolutely effective against:
- Unexpected sheet shaking invitations and it stops the idea-before it happens
- Young children and their devious machinations-boys and girls, in their tracks
- Surprise visits from those relatives who were “just in the neighborhood.”
How much would you pay to be free from angering your loved ones because your brain is mired within life, death, and the heated struggle between a man and a Yeti? One hundred? Two hundred? Call today and you get the Negotiator for three easy payments of 19.99! And that’s not all! We’re throwing in three of our most effective door signs, completely free. Hang one on the front door, the back door, and the door to your office. Isn’t it time to scare your NaNoWriMo woes away?
Not suitable in households with people recovering from a heart attack
Not intended for use in children under the age of 18
May cause nervous twitches and other abnormalities; explosive outbursts, and lunacy