Karma: Best Served Chilled With Testosterone

 

 

Karma is Great

 

 

***No humans were irrevocably damaged (much) by this bout of karma***

Karma is always best when it’s not directed at…
you know, me?

It’s been crazy. No, really. Cray-zee this month. What with a funer-ah…I mean, a birthday and the holiday hustle-bustle, smack a Skylander game from another woman’s hand (not me) and my anatomy and car lessons via Murphy it’s-yep.

Off the chain. I was due my turn to giggle. Past due. Wayy past due and today? Ah…that mistake was corrected. Order has been restored to my ADHD mind. hehe

Come sit, I’ll explain.

1st some overdue karma, then some budding testosterone.
Stir vigourously and….grin

A bumper to bumper traffic situation with CeeLee at the wheel. Grim faced and hair standing on end from the static cling, muttering about the idiocy of other people’s techniques for merging onto a highway ramp.

Duck is warm and secure in his backseat, carefully holding the equivalent of wake up or else, vitamin fortified juicebox in one hand and his breakfast in the other.

Duck is freshly defunkified and ready to meet the oncoming school day.

Cue karma!

The car is a manual, to which Duck is all too aware, don’t let him fool you.

The car bucks just a little and…voila! Duck has the entire contents of the juicebox on his crotch. The kind of juice that stains jeans with a dark splotch that napkins and liberal useage of  wet wipes cannot erase and with no spare pair of jeans to change into.

Can you hear what the Duck is yelling?

No? Sorry, I’ll bet my laughing is drowning him out. He’s yelling that it’s a bit frosty down where the spillage happened and he’s quering me as to what is he to do when he has to take off his coat at school? Because they’ll make him do that at some point during the day.

Anyone with a suggestion? No? hehe

Add a dash of redneck male pride to
the karma and testosterone, mix  well then…run!

Last night, after Duck is finally asleep, dreaming of sweet little Duck dreams and snoring loudly in the next room with the dog keeping time with him. The Redneck finally wandered into our bedroom. The Redneck warily plugs his new cell up to charge for the night right as it rings. Loudly.

At a broadcast to the world level, (this cell is supposed to have great sound quality, I can attest to the veracity of that claim) and it began braying a gravelly male voice that informs everyone in the general 50 mile radius to…”Blow it out yer ass!” over and over again.

The ring tone. The Redneck scrambles, he misses, he fumbles, and yes! He scores! By turning the volume up to reach the 100 mile radius instead.

He looks at his cell and says…and…he says….

Sorry. I’m still cracking up. Ahem. He says in complete puzzlement that it’s a family member of his calling him. If you only knew how fitting that ringer was, for the person it was magically attached to.

The Redneck does know how fitting it is, which is why he isn’t speaking to me and gets indignant all over again when he hears me tapping away, safe in my office behind a locked door, and cackling.

Oh and I am. It was karma. I swear it. That’s why this is so funny.

Moral of the story?

I did not, whatsoever, manipulate and/or manhandle that cell in any shape or form…which is why it’s so perfect. For me. And for Duck (sorry Ms -, he was instructed not to say this charming phrase at school, let me know if he does) until his turn came round this morning.

Don’t laugh at someone experiencing their round of karma because you’ll be next. Oh man. I’m doomed.

  • Karma. (thebluebirdwords.wordpress.com)
  • Karma (invsiblyme.wordpress.com)

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Karma: Best Served Chilled With Testosterone”

    1. You are an amazing blogger…a welcome change from what i post. Thank you for sharing and Happy Holidays ♥ Happy Hanukkah ♥ Happy Kwanzaa ♥ Merry Christmas. (*‿*)

    2. Oh thank you so much~
      You’ve really made my day and that takes skill.
      I was already grinning but this is even better. 🙂

      All the best of the holiday season to you and yours too!

  1. So the sky has landed again on top of you. A buckle or tow must be a mustang stick handled to roughly. Ha ha to funny how the redneck fumbled again. And duck was still sleeping after that world announcement.
    I can handle the kar ma. it is stick shifting after all.
    you are cool CeeLee. And ha ha Einstein would have been jealous of your hair. and reset ADHD brain. keep smiling.

    1. Thank you Crow, you’re pretty cool too. 🙂
      Yes the sky landed, true, but I was an observer.
      I kind of like being in that role, it’s a lot more entertaining.
      Thank you Crow, you’re pretty cool too. 🙂

      I should add that the reason the car bucked (not a Mustang-yet)
      was that my own motor skills weren’t fully awake. Until I laughed.
      Faster than coffee, have a laugh at a loved one’s karma today!
      Are you smiling Crow? 😉

  2. I think it’s Revenge is best served cold. When it’s Karma is best served cold then perhaps the server is getting their revenge!! Mwahahah!! Loved the post CeeLee~ although our favorite parts we’re: (Add a dash of redneck male pride to the karma and testosterone, mix…) By the way~ This tasty Southern Recipe is quite phenomenal when marinated for a while!! Lmao. Love this on so many levels can’t begin to tell you!! Next fav part: (No humans were irrevocably damaged (much) by this bout of karma***) I know, I know, it’s sounds completely random & utterly insane, but something about that tag…warning….C.Y.A. is just so damn delicious!!! Now if you’ll excuse us. We have about thirty or so people to call & make amends too, as your post has awoken a sleeping giant named…Karma!! And God knows we’re just not ready for that bitch to take a bite out of us!! Time to right wrongs~ 😉

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