The Early Edition.
This was supposed to go live tomorrow. Sorry about the confusion.
Numbers aren’t my strong suit but it really was Duck’s fault.
He made me do it…
Write Now March 28th 2014
“Babe? Listen to me now. You’re okay. You’ve had an accident but you’re going to be okay.”
So which was it? Was she okay or going to be okay? She tried to open her eyes but they weren’t co-operating at the moment. What had happened to her? The last thing she remembered doing was getting ready to leave for her hair appointment and telling her guy that she’d be back later this afternoon. After that? Zip. She swallowed hard and whispered.
“What happened to me? Is it the car?”
Her other half chuckled his nervous you’re gonna think this is funny, like in three years from now sort of chuckle. Oh no. This did not bode well for her.
“So the good news is that the car is fine. You didn’t wreck it, isn’t that wonderful? I’ll bet you were thinking you did, huh?”
She gave a gusty sigh. He was stalling. Definitely bad news on the way. She cracked her eyes open a mere fraction of an inch and the hospital room swam slowly into focus. Hospital room? What the hell?
“Terrific. Out with it. What did I do?”
“Okay, so don’t get upset. Do you…remember the potato gun? The one I made? That one? I sort of…well…you sort of…crap. Your head got in the way, alright? I didn’t mean to shoot you with it. It’s not like I had you targeted or anything.”
Potato gun. Her head…in the way-dammit.
“You shot me? With a potato gun? Are you kidding me?!”
“Yeah, I did. Look, I’m so sorry I knocked you out. Actually I don’t think it was being shot with the potato as much as it was accidentally being tazed. See, when I ran over to see if you were okay, it fell out of my pocket and hit you and I guess it has a hair-trigger and….”
“You shot me-wait, you tazed me too?!”
“I said I was sorry! Geesh! I didn’t mean to do it. Here. Have a sip of coffee. I got you your favorite. White chocolate mocha. See? I wouldn’t do that if I weren’t sorry.”
She took a sip and then the worst thing possible happened: she no longer craved coffee. Wasn’t it enough to be shot and tazed, but her not liking coffee? She worshiped java! Oh this was too much for any one person to have to handle. Nobody messed with her coffee cravings and got away with it. She smiled.
“Tazed, huh? Wow! Do you have it with you?”
“Yeah, it rocks! It’s wicked strong. Um…Guess you know that though. This is it.”
“Oh, I see. So is this the power button?”