My online job search is going. On the plus side, I have two interviews for this week-woohoo!
On the other hand, I know the search would be doing better if I could find the off button to my what-if’s. Simplistic in design, they have one mission.
To destroy me. Using whatever means necessary to accomplish their task, these little jerks do a bang up job. It’s too bad they don’t work for me. I might have been a millionaire by now.For instance.
My what-ifs turned my job search into a talk show?
“Welcome to “It Isn’t Me-It’s My Damn ADHD!” Talk Show.
Please help me to welcome our first guests to the stage,
she calls them the Terminators of her determination, the “What Ifs.”
Really? The what ifs can’t be that bad, can they?
“Let’s roll the clip taken this morning, direct from CeeLee’s thoughts.”
Okay. Time to focus. Today is all about jobs.
Here we go.
Damn laptop, why can’t you behave? “Run as administrator” doesn’t imply a request. You sack of monkey-censored-you can kiss my-censored-when you take a flying-censored.
Hmmm…better write this down, so I can remember. Verbal threats are effective against laptop defiance.
Ten minutes later…Ah. Finally.
Jobs, jobs, jobs…aha! Job boards. Oh cool, there’s a position open for a delivery driver. I could do that.
So what if I don’t have a resume that reflects my umpteen years of
racing, driving. My associates degree isn’t in fry slinging either, but I can show them easily enough.
Yeah, but what-if…
I was a delivery driver for medical supplies, and I was racing to beat the clock, and I got hit by a bus, train, kite, a flying armadillo?
That would be bad.
Right, but just say, what-if…
I need to think more positively. I’m positive that were I to be hit by-no, no, no. Dammit!
Okay. Instead of my getting hit by random flying objects and/or animals unlucky enough to be launched from Gawd knows where, what-if I started a whole new trend for drifting in a delivery truck?
Well yeah, I know I could do that but then again…
Crap! I did it again. Oohh, I hate having a-censored-and I’m just going to-censored–censored–censored!
“Wow. Just. Wow.”
On that note, thanks for tuning into It Isn’t Me-It’s My Damn ADHD!”
The non-reality show that made Jerry Springer smack his director
out of jealousy. Brought to you in part by,
Be Proud, Be Creative, Go ADHD (and get a job!)
Margo’s ADHD Brain’s A-Fire BBQ sauce,
Because your brain just ain’t completely fried til you smell the BBQ.”