Duck’s Growing is a Pain

Growing up is tough. For all parties involved
Growing up is tough. For all parties involved

Duck’s been laboring under the misconception that he’s eleven going on thirty these past few weeks.

I’m not having it.

He’s been stretching his wings and testing his skills of negotiation and delegation, along with my patience and sanity.

Duck’s in trouble.

He’s not sure why he’s in trouble, after all, he feels he’s been perfectly rational, laying out his arguments in a logical (to him) and concise manner, lackingΒ only the power point presentation to drive his salient points home further.

But he knows it’s hit the fan.

He’s trying to do damage control by giving voice to fervent promises on how ‘it’ll never happen again, I’ll change my behavior, I give my word on this, Mom’.

Meanwhile, he’s on the couch next to me and watching me play Xbox. Badly.

Because he can’t play right now.

Turns out I have less coordination on Xbox than I do after having a couple shots of Jack Daniels. How cool.

He’s mourning his losses with pain more properly reserved for mourning the loss of a best friend.

With bitterness and angst.

I’ve got him right where I want him.

Any minute now.

Wait for it…

Mom!! What are you doing?? Jump! Hit the x button, the x button, no, the X button, THE X BUTTON!! That’s NOT the x button! The xbutton-xbutton-xbutton-oh stop, just stop! Please!! Oohh mannn!

Giving a Duck screech of frustration, he throws his arms up in the air and then covers his eyes, unable to witness the chaos ensuing on the screen.

Yep.

Nailed it.

Duck slumps into the couch, exhausted by his efforts and whines.

Have I watched enough yet? Am I done being punished? Don’t make me watch this anymore.Β 

And then the horror…

Wait. Are you signed into my account?? My friends are seeing this??? Oohh nooo!!! Mom, please be merciful. I’m, like, totally dying over here.

Mission complete.

Growing pains are hard for me to deal with.

It means my Duck is starting to move away from his sweet, ever questioning nature to the brand spankin’ new smartass, always challenging, forever arguing and bargaining nature.

That testing his boundaries is to be expected.

I know this has to be, that he will change, that this is really a good thing disguised in the trappings of a sullen argumentative troll, I do.

But it doesn’t take away the suck factor, not in the slightest.

None of the previous punishments have seemed to stick with him until I had this idea.

Said idea being why not get a new game, the very same one that he’d told all his friends he was getting and have him watch me play it?

The absolute simplistic beauty lies in the fact that I’ve never held an Xbox controller before today.

And it’s working.

I see another piece of him shrivel up and explode into dust particles with each succession of missed jumps, wrong buttons, and my general lack of survivability.

His whines have degenerated into pleas and then to almost inarticulate howls, begging me to stop, to turn it off, anything but end the carnage.

I’m half expecting to see a tear shed.

He understands that he won’t be cuddling up to his Xbox for another week and he’ll miss it (with more passion than I suspect he misses me) but he accepts his fate gladly if it means he doesn’t have to watch me die in a thousand various ways.

I do know he’ll forget what he said to bring him to this punishment, but I also know he’ll remember the consequences for some time.

And maybe, if I’m real lucky, he’ll think before he decides to dictate his terms of living under my roof again.

Oh look. I jumped off a cliff. Again. Too bad for me.

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18 thoughts on “Duck’s Growing is a Pain”

    1. Thanks Kristi πŸ™‚
      Let’s just hope Duck will remember this.
      And should he forget…I’m betting his friends won’t lol

    2. I think it may stick with him for a while! (even if it made you secretly hurt to carry out such a plan)
      I knew someone once that had two little girls. The older one wouldn’t let the younger one play with her dolls. So the mom started gathering all of her daughter’s dolls. The girl watched, assuming her mother was taking her toys away because of the bickering. Then she set about laying out a fancy tea party. All the dolls attended. She invited the younger sibling to the tea party and wouldn’t let the older daughter in on the fun. She had to watch her little sister and mother have a tea party with HER dolls. It killed the mom to do this, and she wanted very much to cry…but to this day, if the older girl has something she always asks her sister if she wants part of it, or wants to join her in whatever it is. lol. Some things just prove your point better than other things.

    3. Oh ouch lol
      I agree on the points proven better than others.
      I think I’ve made a bigger impact on Duck than I realized.
      I was desperate to make the cold light of reality sink in.
      He’s been toeing the line ever since.

  1. One day I took the controllers to work with me (M left for school before me those days) and posted a pic online. He figured it out when he got home and couldn’t play….but wow, I love your treatment better!

    As I tell M, even now at 19 (!), he lives under a benevolent dictatorship. All’s good, but when it’s not, then it’s still all up to me and not up to a vote.

    1. I really like the idea of taking controllers into work.
      I admit, that hadn’t occurred to me. πŸ™‚

      But I hope to remember if this behavior should ever (sigh, it will)
      ever rear it’s ugly head once more.
      Because the idea of his not having a vote
      until he helps pay the bills hasn’t quite sunk in just yet. πŸ˜‰

  2. I belief I can fly. Pretty sure I can touch the…. sidewalk. SPLAT

    Ooh how to handle a teenager. Damn We didn’t have games or tv at that age. How times have changed.
    From running away just so you wouldn’t get smacked… as if they would wait for your to get hungry…
    to sitting on a sofa grinding teeth as mum plays xbox.

    Wow you grown up CeeLee.

    I belief I can fly. pretty sure i can touch the sky. think about it … I am a crow.

    1. You may be able to fly and touch the sky, Crow,
      but I prefer my feet planted on solid ground, thank you lol

      I’ve grown up have I?
      Not sure if that’s a good thing.
      I think I like being referred to an evil genius πŸ˜‰

    1. waving back with a grin

      Hey there and thanks! So glad you liked the post.

      It has been a long time.
      Great to see you’re doing okay and are back as well.
      I’ll be visiting your blog soon πŸ™‚

  3. That is beautiful absolutely beautiful, I can almost hear Duck cringing.

    I always hear about a child going through growing pains but i see parents going through them as well. It seems you have found a good pain killer for your self.

    1. Hi Forrest,
      So maybe I’m not going to be nominated for Mom of the Year
      because I had a little fun doing this,
      but surely to goodness I was entitled.

      And if it is a lesson that sticks with him,
      well I’m okay with that πŸ™‚

  4. Ha Ha love it! My son took the lead from the game to work and when I said oh Sean ..he said mum ..butt out( nicely)..”you would not have let get away with that would you?” Had to admit he was right….Long may peace reign for you πŸ™‚

    1. Peace…yes…the thing I strive towards πŸ˜‰
      I understand that it’ll be a commodity hard to come by
      until Duck’s oh…I don’t know…thirty,
      but I’ll take what I can get in the meantime lol

      Welcome to the Pool and thank you for the comment.
      Good luck on your end. Boys are fun aren’t they? πŸ˜‰

  5. Yes they are…I have 2 boys and 4 girls and the girls ..phewwwww so much harder…boys are messy, etc etc but not a patch on the girls they are in a class of their own …ha ha..give me boys anyday πŸ™‚

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