Life in the Fast Lane

 

courtesy: http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=134498&picture=christmas-background-pattern
Living life like a race isn’t my idea of fun anymore

 

I’ve always been a right now and not later, type of person. All or nothing and full speed ahead. Patience simply wasn’t included within my blueprints. Not when I was born with the equivalent of a fire alarm going off in my head and inner voice clamoring for me to run.

Run fast, run far, run now.

I’ve raced through my entire life like a runaway train. Rocking and reeling on the tracks and no emergency brake. Always looking for the next milestone and the next experience and on and on.Β The reason of why I should run, or to what destination, has remained unknown.

I was born driven and I’ve never stopped.

Yeah, of course there were exceptions, there always are, but precious few. Pregnancy, growing out a bad haircut, waiting in the DMV line-that’s about it.

It’s not all bad, my lack of patience, I know it’s a part of my ADHD and something I’ve had to accept. And it has managed to produce results I may not have had I not been stubborn and refused to give up pushing forward.

Then again, it’s also put me in situations that would’ve been avoidable if I had only taken a second to breathe and reassess before jumping.

I have harbored a sincere dislike for the stuff everyone says about patience since I was old enough to understand them. Like all good things in good time and blah-blah.

I hate to admit it but…I’m changing my thinking and might have to admit that I might have been wrong.

3 months for the things I’ve wanted and wished for to happen-for years-have happened. And it was because I made a conscious effort to ignore the compulsion to run and slowed down to a walk. Hard to do un-medicated but still achievable.

In 3 short months, I’ve come so far. I’ve managed to close not 1, but 2 doors on long since concluded chapters of my life. Ones that haunted me and refused to be silenced, but I have and I walked away with a smile.

I’ve been able to enjoy friendship and feel the brush of anticipation of good things to come, rather than racing on to conquer the next challenge.

I’ve missed out on a lot. I’m realizing this lately, but I’m not looking back. I may always be driven, impatient, and stubborn-I’m human.

The difference is that I choose to walk instead of run. Whatever the next thing is, I’ll make there.

Eventually.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Life in the Fast Lane”

  1. I so get this and whether running or walking as long a sit happens with in the 5 seconds that will follow after I end my comment I am pretty much okay with that, no rush I tell just me showing a little patience i learned over the years. grin….. have a great one CeeLee we learn every day and everyday something new

    1. Thanks Crow. πŸ™‚
      Sorry I’m late to the party (as always)
      but I’ve been rather busy of late.
      Seems that living out loud takes more time than when just living for yourself, within yourself.
      Hmmm…
      Who’d have guessed? πŸ˜‰

  2. Well done CeeLee. As all of us do we learn from our mistakes and with age learn how to approach things differently. Sounds to me like your growing in leaps and bounds girl!! πŸ˜‰ xo

    1. Thank you πŸ™‚
      Long overdue and not always fun, but yeah, I’m growing.
      I do wish there had been a quicker way or that it had happened earlier in my life but…
      I guess I wasn’t yet ready.
      Hugs to you both πŸ™‚

  3. Having patience is a good thing. I am a patient person, i know this not because i think that i am but rather because i have been told this many times in my life, i have even been called a saint.

    Patience is something I understand.

    It is nice to see you finding some patience, nice to see you no longer running and taking the time to walk. continue to take the time to walk through life, stop to smell the flowers and enjoy life.

    1. You are, Forrest.
      Patient and a saint. I would know, as
      I believe I’m one of those who’ve told you this and I meant it.
      You’re a good friend. πŸ™‚

      As for patience, well…I’m learning and it’s not without a few flops and more fails but I’m learning.
      I do still occasionally wonder about Aaron Stimple and how he’s doing but…I have patience πŸ˜‰

I love getting comments. It's as close to being famous as I'll ever get.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s