I have a job in which communication is important.
I have to talk to a great many people and it usually falls into the fast, faster, and right damn now category.
Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I fail miserably.
I’ve been asked, by more than a few people, to post some of the worst things I’ve actually said–out loud and sometimes at top volume–at work when my ADHD and impulse control is at…shall we say…less than full operating capacity.
I wasn’t sure how to write about those vocal mishaps without losing the humor or people coming to the erroneous conclusion that I am a total dingbat.
Today, I’m just sleep deprived enough to think I can pull it off, throw caution to the wind and give ‘er a whirl.
So here we go.
(Dumb) Things I’ve Said Lately (at work)
- Better watch that cart. It’s been under a stripper for a week and is probably filthy.
- Hey! Come see me about your small package when you get a chance.
- Whew! I’m so glad we got rid of all of those damn nipples.
- Yup. It’s here. Nope, you don’t need a dolly, your stuff is really small. (Indicate size by thumb and forefinger)
- So were you the one who ordered from hose master or was that someone else?
- Geez, come get your hose already, I’m tired of tripping over it.
- Did you want the latex gloves or the…you know…the proctology ones? (Make appropriate hand gestures to indicate the extended sleeves.
- Yelling across a crowded office. That’s a pretty hefty shaft, do you need help carrying it? (Instant cringe)
These are only a few miniscule examples.
I won’t even touch the things I (think) I hear, with my hearing also haing a sense of humor of it’s own.
I’m just not that brave.