It’s Tuesday and it’s time for an ADHD story at Swim in the Adult Pool . This (yeah…it’s true) story happened last week, so it’s fresh out of the oven…and I must be hungry.
“You dropped a bomb on me
you dropped a bomb on me…”
The Redneck’s driving skills are an enviable (by some) work of art.
He can execute a successful merge onto the desired exit ramp and (loudly) verbalize helpful merging tips to other drivers, complete with hand gestures at the same time.
I absolutely hate riding with him.
I don’t hate his driving talent. I have my own driving skills.
I hate riding with him because he knows the one thing guaranteed to make my ADHD snarl is to poke it with a carefully and casually dropped Holy Sh*&! type of info bomb.
What better place to do so than in the car, where there are no worries over possible immediate retaliation, right? Right.
Taking advantage my being a captive audience, he’ll drop a bomb disguised as a simple statement and smirk while he watches my executive functions tailspin, crash and burn.
On the way back home from Duck’s class production last week, just such a brain-busting opportunity came a-knockin’ for my tin-tapping (welder) Redneck.
For the record, I never saw it coming. But then again do I ever?
So this is how my brain dealt.“CAP, this is Alpha-1. We got a bogey. We’re fangs out and padlocked.” “Copy that Alpha-1. Don’t get sunk in the floorboard”
The Redneck: “So… I guess I should tell you something. I met up with an ambulance this morning.”
The Redneck: “Well…work called them, I didn’t. I got dizzy and broke a cold sweat while I was tackin’ and my heartbeat and blood pressure went up real high. Oh and my chest hurt too.”
Me: “But why didn’t you call me? Why did nobody call me?”
The Redneck: ” I would have, if they’d had to take me to the hospital. But they checked me out and said I was okay. So I went back to work. The only reason I’m telling you is because you’re gonna see the chest doodads they used for the heart monitor in the trash. And I didn’t want you to worry.”
Me: “Chest…doodads…aahh…You just went back to…Aahh….but…aahh…”
And my brain responded…“CAP-this is Alpha-1 . Bogey smoked. We’re three down and locked.” “Copy that Alpha-1. The runway is clear. Three down and locked. Welcome home.”