Week 2

 

I just found out that I have an allergy

Bring it on, I’m ready to rumble! Wait, what is today’s date?! The hell you say!  Ohhhkayyy…fine. I’m still going to prove my 2 guys wrong. I have to really, because I just now found that I’m highly allergic to taking a cold swim with water wings and cameras the whole month of December. Isn’t it bad enough that my birthday is in December and I have to face being another year older? Having to face being another year older and having a heart attack induced by cold water, while endlessly entertaining I’m sure, to the guys in my life, who just walk by me and laugh, is not what I have planned. Yeah, not in the game plan. Time to get down to gettin’ down.

Ah…Houston? We have a problem”…

Never fails, not when my life is concerned. Why be dull and boring? That’s no fun, let’s shake it up a bit! Awesome. So, I was informed that the bet while still very much in effect, and my anticipated loss of it, I’m still watched closely by an eager son and SO, both all too ready to hear me yelp, has an even funnier (to them) twist. Never fails, when I’m the straight man of one big ole cosmic joke. Big contest and a noob to writing, check. Has nooo freakin’ clue of what she’s doing-check. Loss of time, approximately around the scale of butt load, add a dash of “Oh holy shit, I’m gonna have my own dangling participles freeze and fall off!” Yeah-check. Shake vigorously and and voila! Yep. Odds are way out there, we are good to go. Game on.

Roger that Houston, we are a green light go!”…

The pool will be unavailable, because it’s cold, see, and so it has to be covered. Oh damn, what a shame! Yeah, right. My ever resourceful son has oh so helpfully pointed out that while the pool will be out of commission, the pond (16 ft deep and cold as a witch’s dangling participle) will not have the same issue. Remind me to inform Santa of his helpfulness. Having 2 very gleeful sharks circle me, making encouraging comments as they watch me hunt and peck the crap out of my keyboard is the icing on the cake. It’s really just a number, right? And what’s in a number? Ha! The difference is between cardiac arrest from my onlookers observing my plunge and my own cardiac arrest from laughing at the crestfallen faces of 2 very smug guys who were so sure they would see me go down. Complete with photos. Yes I can! I think…

I'm highly allergic to cold water
Actual Pond To Be Swimming In

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Finding humor in an ADHD life without water wings

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