Tag Archives: arguments

“Why Can’t You Be Normal?!” ADHD and Couples

Anger and ADHD

“But I have no idea of what normal is!” I yelled back

Sweet, right? I know.

One of the worst fights I’ve ever had in a relationship and I doubt I’ll forget it. Don’t get me wrong, fights are bound to happen no matter who you are or how meticulously you tend your relationship.

The Redneck and I have had more than our fair share of battles over the years and probably are over what might be considered the quota for a “normal” couple to have.

A normal couple in which neither partner brings adult ADHD to the table, that is.

It was the frustration in his voice that cut most

I felt awful. I couldn’t explain to him, this weird redneck guy who was light years out of my usual guy dating-range, the gruff voiced man with a heart of gold who I was by then, completely head over heels in love with (and still am) why I did things the way I did.

Or how I arrived at the conclusions I did, said conclusions that were so obviously off base.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry?” It was the only answer I had

How could I get him to understand what I couldn’t understand myself? I only knew that I felt differently, thought differently, and talked differently than him.

I had been diagnosed with adult ADHD 2 years prior to meeting him and was still learning myself. I felt like a total goob loser, I mean if the redneck felt like this and he is, technically speaking anyway, a “normal” guy, or at least sans ADD/ADHD, then what was my deal? I lacked the words.

It. Sucked.

“Babe, you know I love you-ALL of you,
even when you talk so fast that my head spins-right?”

I did know and I still do know this. Sappy as it sounds, I can’t imagine being with anyone else but that crabby in the morning redneck guy who loves me, despite me.

It’s the old fashioned kind of love I dreamed of having, after I had overdosed on too many happily ever afters as a kid.


But having his Understanding ADHDers Behavior sure would’ve helped me.

Eh, we live and we do learn. Eventually.


ADHD/ADD and Relationships