Tag Archives: Inspiration

Living the dream

I made it
Steel toes have become very familiar

 

Tomorrow is my 1 year anniversary of early mornings, steel toes and a hard hat.

Doesn’t sound like much, true, but for me?

Freaking outstanding because I really, really hate mornings.

Especially early ones.

I came here tonight after another (successful) day of living through gearing up for the craziness that only comes once a year. One accompanied by all the wildness of a carnival, but coupled with more importance and urgency.

As it should be.

I sat down intending to write on a different topic tonight, I did, but this seems to be the only one that’s wanting to be written.

I blame the Fireball.

It’s more than capable of standing up to the raised eyebrows I’m likely evoking.

Take this haters
I’m feeling pretty darn smug…

 

Right.

Thing is when I started this job, I was asked if I was nuts. Surely I must be, so far from my past career, insanity could be the only possible explanation for this dramatic change.

So physically demanding and rough. And certainly not like me at all.

That must be it, I had officially gone down the hill and ’round the bend.

I was informed, and by more than a few smugly smiling faces, that I wouldn’t last a month, a week, not even a day.

Bets were placed.

Guess who’s smug now?

I'm feeling pretty darn smug. If not exactly a beauty queen...
Smug…if  not exactly a beauty queen…scuz the sweaty hair and dirt

 

I’ve had my share of victories, great big ginormous victories, but am not without some regrettable losses too.

I suppose it’s the push.

You know.

The balance that must be maintained. Good with the bad and all that stuff.

I try to remember this every day.

Though admittedly, some days are better than others.

Today, I was able to speak to an overseas friend I haven’t spoken to in years. (You know who you are)

One who made my day, just by hearing their voice. And made me feel like I’d come home.

The thing I’m thinking about right now?

I made it.

Oh yeah, you better believe I’m smiling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CeeLee’s Smile

 

Sorry I’ve been away, but I’ve so much to show you…

I hated my smile
Always hiding my smile

 

Let’s recap.

I’ve hated smiling for years.  (Refer to above picture) I abhorred picture time and would stretch my mouth as wide as I could, in hopes that no teeth would show.

That is, if the flat out running away wasn’t an option. Most times, it was not, sad to say.

But as much as I dreaded pics and my photo sniper family and the subsequent hours spent, trying to filter out the many off-guard moments captured in time, I dreaded going to the dentist more.

Because it never ended happily for me.

That came to a screeching halt this summer when I decided that I was tired of ducking my head or putting Duck’s big toothy grin in front of me as camouflage.

After all, this has been my breakout year. The year I took back my life and walloped the hell out of some big ole dragons.

Still strong
I got brave and fixed my smile.

A side note?

He’s happier too, at not having to be front and center or placed at weird angles, as my human smile shield.

 

I love my smile
Instead of my camouflage, Duck’s a photo bomber

 

It wasn’t easy.

Sure did hurt a ton.

Took almost the whole summer, but its been worth all the effort.

Yep, this is me.

Life is good
And I’m smiling

 

Oh yeah, before I forget.

Did I mention I’m back and better than ever? Consider it mentioned.  😉

Love,

CeeLee

 

 

 

Right Here, Right Now

 

 

This year has started off with a bang and I’ve hit the floor running. Not unexpected, not if you know me, but not a calamity either.

Right here–I look like a train wreck, sitting on the side of the tub. You see, I’ve run the soles off my feet. Funny ha-ha to you, nowhere NEAR the vicinity of funny to me.

Right now– I’m trying to ignore the pain of an Epsom salt bath on raw and weeping flesh by writing this post using the voice feature on my cell.

The distraction isn’t working as well as I’d hoped. There might be tears involved as I dictate this,  but MY version of the story will reflect that my contacts are due up to be changed.

I’m still doing this and I will not give up.

I’ll come back to that in a few.

Right here–in this very house, I’ve decided since  I’d spent the latter part of 2015 saying goodbye to the people I’d outgrown, successfully laid to rest a few pesky ghosts, slayed some troublesome dragons-AND lived to tell the tale, I might be on to something good.

Right now–the way I see it, my choices are simple. I can trot down this path and continue to grow or I can hesitate and get knocked cattywampus by my own momentum.

I’m choosing door number one because cattywampus is not a good look for me.

You know, in case you were wondering.

That door happens to be an almighty big one and is going to be difficult to kick open and stomp through.

I’m scared but determined.

I’ve written before that I’m a veteran runner when it came to all things drama and that’s true. I’m also a total boss at wielding my handy dandy black paint brush to paint out and effectively forget, the people, things, and situations that have caused me pain.

The forgetting has been one of my best defense mechanisms, and I’ll miss it dreadfully, but I’m not going to use it anymore.

Right now–I choose to face these things head on and move forward instead of avoiding them.

In so doing, I’m giving myself the gift of my own life back. I’ve set some very specific goals and hope to reach them soon.

Right here–moving to a different position at the company I currently work for, making more money, and getting better benefits is the best thing for myself and for Duck.

I want these things and I WILL get them.

Right now–I’m taking back control of my life and it shore do feel fine. Sort of. Kinda. Mostly. Like 99% of the time. The feel fine part of it, I mean.

Which may shed some light on the reason for a gym membership and the interval training and my poor feet that have been the cause of this disjointed post via cell.

This is the year of a whole new me and I will not back down. Come watch me win. I dare ya.

Addendum…Not that it matters much to anyone other than me-I’ve done 12.5 miles of interval training since this past Tuesday. Because I’m proud of it and I’m cool like that.

 

 

 

Of Blisters and Happiness

 

“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.”  

Richard Bach

Little did I know this pic was the beginning of change
Little did I know this one pic was the beginning of big change
One month ago…

I was drifting.

And I knew it, but was barely aware, giving it merely a nod in the way of acknowledgement, so mired down was I, with just getting through the day.

Just one step…

Opportunity was already here and waiting for me.

The only action required on my part was to take it.

And I did.

I grabbed hold reluctantly, my fears nearly consuming the muttered answer, uttered while sitting in the shade on a porch in the middle of an eye watering bright day.

 “Yes, I’ll give it a shot.”

Little did I know that my perspective was about to take a squalling 180 and race towards the positive.

I did it.
I gave my word and I kept it.

I worked those hours and then some. I worked harder than I have in a long time. And every blister and bruise, ache and pain I earned were my badges of courage.

And I wore/wear them proudly.

Each day I came home exhausted beyond explanation was proof that I really could do this, despite all of the discouragement my fears were throwing in my way.

Each day became just a little brighter.
Plenty of blisters, swollen feet, and maybe a few tears
Plenty of blisters, swollen feet, and maybe a few tears
Each day is better than the last.

Those inner voices of mine, the nagging persistent one that reminds me of my past, the hateful, cynical one that whispers of failures yet to come, are quieter now.

This is me waking up and finding happy
This is me. Waking up happy AND in contacts I can now afford

 

They’re being blocked out by a calmer voice that murmurs that yes, indeed I can do this.

And of the many rewards that will follow.