What I’m Keeping For New Years

New Years

It’s that time, out with the old and in with the new and all that. And I get it, I really do, but every time I do that-kick habits, and annoying tendencies to the curb, they come back with a vengeance, according to my SO. I know it’s exactly opposite of what we are supposed to do, but since I jinx myself every time I do that way, here’s what my New Years is going to be like.

Nothing that reverse psychology can’t fix

We all focus on the negative, right? Instead of focusing on my less than attractive traits, of which there are many, and trying to eliminate some of my bad habits, I’m going to keep them.

Irritating my SO in mere nano seconds, sometimes with a look, sometimes in true stealth mode, like when he moves his TV remote and forgets he moved it and then blames me, though I haven’t been in that nasty man cave for over a week because it smells like… Essence of Stinky Socks. Apparently I’m so good, I don’t even know I’m doing it!

Yelling at Dragon Speak. Or at my laptop. Or the microwave, camera, GPS, cell phone, wii… and since all tech mocks me anyway, it’s a primo way of releasing stress, by yelling at my smirking electronics.

Showing my son how to do covert irritation missions, like make Gak undercover and leave it in places you might never expect it to be. The SO’s shoes, his underwear drawer, his spaghetti.

The benefits of keeping instead of tossing

The benefits aren’t ones to be sneezed at, where else can you go for cheap entertainment, that doesn’t cost a dime to do and lasts a whole afternoon and sometimes longer? Besides, being cost conscious is a smart and savvy thing. I’m doing stress relief by my yelling obscene things at the household electronics and as this has the neighbors thinking I’m a crazed ax murderer, we don’t often have visitors dropping in, and if we do, it’s always very quick and to the point . No time to be pimping out baked cookies or doing a hard sell on things that just make my butt get fat. And lastly, I’m spending time bonding with my son. All of which are healthy, so I have physical and mental health bennies all rolled into the very things I would normally seek to be rid of. See? And you thought I was nuts! Okay, so maybe I am, just a tad, but you have to admit, I might just have a valid point. So what are you keeping this year?